Adventure

I apologise for being off line so long. Essentially, and I don’t want to go into any detail, but the other night I was kidnapped by people who I thought were MI5, but who, in fact, turned out to be a small, radical wing of the Runcorn Operatic Society.

Imprisoned in a 5 Star hotel in Runcorn, with only ensuite, 24hr room service, freedom to come and go as I wished, I was held captive in that living hell for over three weeks. They subjected me to Matinee performances, evening performances and weekend early riser special presentations. I must say I thought I had died and been sent to hell. Albeit Hell with a superb wine list.

But I didn’t give in. Unlike much of the squawking I heard both on and off stage, I remained defiant of my fundamentalist masters, so much so that they bought me a train ticket home, and, after a superb luncheon of scallops and evening disco, I was released none the wiser back into society.

Of course, they deny any part of this, as they are known to do, and have even had the affrontary to claim never to have heard of me.

I am putting this ‘out there’ because I believe other actors or even James Corden may be approached and recruited into this movement, and I feel it only right to warn them.