One man show.

I have also been working on an idea I have had for a one man show; a show which demonstrates my prowess, talent and foresight. A show which highlights my still nimble and full functioning body. A show which in a very real sense takes the audience on a voyage around me, my psyche and my soul. All the items which go to make up this warrior of Thespis. Although I am not all that happy with the title.

McPhereson, a journey around my Tool.

In acting there is a theory that if a line is spoken and there’s no one in the audience, does anyone actually hear the line? And the answer is yes. Yes. For even if the audience figures are disappointing, surely it is showing great disrespect to those who have passed from the stage of life not to do a full and fascinating performance. I tried to explain this to a theatre manager once while doing Ackbourn in Upperthong but he would not buy into it. “You do it, you’re on your own” he opined, putting on his ‘hoodie’ and heading off to the bar.

Young people in the theatre think it’s a quick side step into Eastenders, I am sure of it. They don’t realise the texture of, say, a smouldering 17^th Mill Owner is different from a unemployed cockney jellied eel salesman. They play one part and think they know it all. James Walland is one such lad. Appearing with him in Doloievs’ ‘The Spanish Lover’ one would people had come to see him, the way he ponced about on stage, obviously not knowing where the audience was, who to speak to or indeed what his lines were. It was a travesty of theatre. A bloodbath.

I spoke to him afterwards about his performance and the nuances and cadence he was missing, about the emoting and empathy of his character, the driving psychology he may benefit from knowing. Also making time to ask if he knew if any of the current cast, say, middle aged men, were leaving. I did it very subtly, don’t worry. One has to be subtle and catch ones’ fish with caution. So I rang him up with all this around three am. I was shocked at his response. Shocked. I have not heard such language since I accidently sat on Francis De La Tours’ sandwich.

Anyway, the one man show. It’s going well, I have to say. I’m on act six currently, involving primary school and a character forming event during a field trip to Dover castle.

Oh my. I have just realised the show, should I include all the character forming events, may last 4 and a half years. Which is a little on the long side, especially for a matinee. I may have to trim it a bit.