Stage and Television Today

I once again apologise for my lack of entries into this, my online world. I am afraid I got embroiled in a particularly strict game of Farmville, which resulted in broken arms.

On the plus side I must say having your arms broken by a group of otherwise lovely friends is a real eye opener. I have not been able to do anything for myself for a while, and this has made me appreciate my arms all the more. Arms are wonderful things, allowing you to signal, lift, wave and all manner of other activities which normally we take for granted. Where, I wonder, would Magnus Pyke have been in his televisual career had not we evolved arms? He would have been explaining things wobbling around like a weeble.*

 I am not sure how the human race would have developed without arms. Certainly from a performers point of view key works would have been presented in an entirely different way. Shaw's Arms and the Man would have had to have been retitled, Hans Christian Anderson would have another name and I don't even want to mention Goldfinger.

All this thinking got me thinking, and thinking resulted in creativity. Why not, I surmised, why not do a musical based on arms? If Lloyd Webber can do Cats and someone else can do some nonsense connected with engine lubricant, I am sure I can do one about Arms.

I began the laborious project of working out how this would work. How would we have a collection of arms, just arms, on stage, singing songs about being arms?

Would they have left civilization after some catastrophie unknown? Could there have been a disease which makes them fall off or have to be amputated? The obvious problem was how to get them to sing; it would have to be a disease where your mouth ends up on your upper arm, otherwise it would just be a load of severed limbs on stage thrashing about, and I think we've all seen Billy Elliot.

I'll have to think carefully about this. It could be a winner.

So, arms now working as good as ever I am entreated to some marvelous physiotherapy. 

*It's been pointed out to me that Magnus would not have been wobbling at all, due to the fact he had legs. Well, suppose something had happened to those legs? Suppose he had upset Wiltshire Women's Guild during a demonstration game of Canasta? I would venture to suggest his scientific pontifications would not have been quite the profound insights into the universe and the laws governing it, had he been a-wobbling around like an egg, that was my point, but oh no, the lady proof reading this has to point out these things like some spoil-your-conversation Nazi and insist I of all people write a full and hearty explanation of why my comment relating to Dr Pyke was flawed in almost every respect. Like there was going to be any comeback anyway.**

** I have been contacted while I was writing by the estate of Magnus Pyke to the effect that I must make it perfectly clear he was not a weeble, and that any connection between his eminent work in science and wobbling whilst failing to fall down is mine and mine alone. The modern world, eh??