Pranks are very important in the acting world. They provide a welcome relief from the absolute seriousness of the work; some people say our work is not serious. But it is. It is serious and deadly. In fact I can’t think of one solitary occupation which is more dangerous than acting. Bomb disposers, surgeons, fire fighters and the Army may well have casualties and fatalities, but few of those can face a hostile audience in Stockport on a rainy Thursday, the horror of a prop, integral to the plot, which is not where it’s supposed to be or a bad review in The Stage.
For example, I once was in a 70s’ farce called ‘The Missus is a Aspidistra’ with June Whitfield as the Missus. There was a scene where I had to water June whilst talking about a fellow in the office, it was quite a detailed bit of exposition. But terror! No watering can was on the stage! Panic, Tarquin, Panic! This is where acting is such a weapon, such an awesome ability to possess, it is simply a crime not to utilise it. I improvised.
While I would not like to say how I managed this situation, the management of the theatre obviously saw me as a threat and let me go as soon as I got off the stage, citing health and safety, hygiene and the obscene publications act.
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