Sad Tarquin

I have been saddened recently about the deaths of my fellow thespians, Derek Mule, Peter Gask and Ricardo Needles. It is always sad when such people leave us, and although I have been helping Police with their subsequent enquiries, I do feel I should share a few memories.

Derek Mule was one of the stalwarts of the now legendary Fenchurch Players. Ask anyone who knows the slightest bit about post-Dada Neo Impressionalistic Brechtian Improvisation between March and August 1964 in Fenchurch Street and they will know exactly what you mean. Derek was brought up by Nuns and, after an unsuccessful boxing career, where he managed to be knocked out not only by his opponents but also by a surprisingly moist sponge, he settled on a career in acting. At 19 he was auditioned to appear in David McKaverkies' seminal production of 'It's The Wife'. In the audience was a young producer called George Givern, who immediately cast him as third mysterious alien two rows back and eight in from the left in scene 26a of his film 'The Hoardes of Aliens'. The role was reprised in the series 'A slightly larger hoarde of aliens', 'A really substantial horde of aliens' and the final installment 'Bloody hell, that's a lot of aliens in one place at the same time'. His television work was manifest and varied. Ne'er a shadowy figure nor worried onlooker would be seen that was not him. In Doctor Who he was a man who sought revenge on Jon Pertwee for standing on his toe by destroying Saturn. Z Cars saw him as Emperor Zang, evil warlord of Dock Green. And of course Jan Francis stunt double in Just Good Friends. But it was the late eighties and early nineties he became a household name, like Hoover or Vim. Travis Naughton was on everyones' lips, as the swarthy shoe salesman with a perchance for detecting murder in the series 'Death is a four letter word'. For eight long years everything was investigated, from the dark mysterious death of a bus conductor on a late night journey from Hull, the demise of a Northern dancer in a hangliding mishap and perhaps the Zenith of his story arc, the deaths of several members of a Sheffield sect of the Yakuzi. I met Derek several times, but his hectic life and career obviously took over, and he never returned my calls. Success makes loners of us all.

Peter Gask was a natural in every way. Trained as a weatherman in the army, he often boasted about his missions abroad. His sauntering to Denmark to test the snow. His traversing of the Khyber Pass to see how far dribble could travel at altitudes. And his undercover reports on what the clouds looked like over Berlin. All, he was told, were vital to win the war, although it was to his shame it was 1972. Peter's most famous moment came in the now-infamous drizzle-gate, when he forecast that it would be fine and dry with little chance of showers. However, it drizzled in Rochester for over fifteen minutes. Riots ensued. Society broke down. Gask became a wanted man, looking over his shoulder every minute of every day lest an angry damp Rochester Resident exact terrible revenge. He resorted to disguises, and finally presented the weather as Edith Piaf. Finally the met office employed something few know about – the Weatherman Protection scheme. A weatherman or woman, having made an erroneous prediction, can be reassigned to another locale with a new identity. All ties to the old life are cut. Peter and I stayed in touch, although it was difficult because due to a Met Office typing error, he was assigned the identity of one of the Queens' Corgis. I cannot divulge which Corgi was Peter. Sadly, after 8 years as a Corgi peter was put to sleep after biting the Duke of Edinburgh.

Ricardo Needles was the ultimate gentleman. Suave, generous but with a playboy streak which got him some plum roles in both film and Theatre. Born Ricardo Oliympardi in Rome in 1952, he got his first break in performing during a try out for a spanner commercial. From there, he rose to all sorts of tool promotions. Spanners, trowels, hammers, screwdrivers and ratchets. It was during a promotion for Señor Gulez Wheelbarrows that he was seen by directed Rick Kim, and cast in the now cult horror Wheelbarrow of Blood, part of the oeuvre we now call tacky but which was, at the time, quite the thing to be seen in. Many notables have been in these trashy tales. David Warner, Tom Baker, Peter O'Toole. It was almost a rite of passage. Needles went onto become one of the regular actors in the series, appearing in Pruners of Death, The Sheering of Nellie Potsmould, Ungodly Potting and the now legendary Hose of Horror. From there it was a spell at the National, starting in Needhams' The Closet in the title role, through Brecht and Ibsen, to the Bard. From here he stepped almost effortlessly – but with the help of producer Bunny Fealan – to become Dr Richard Noakes in the daytime drama 'Gloves'.

All three of these fine performers will be missed, not least because they all owed me money.