20130211

Valentines' Day. Alone.

--> As Valentines' Day draws ever closer, one is reminded of those times when the amour was strong, when the attraction was overwhelming, long before notes were left underneath a set of keys in an empty flat.

As an actor, I have always loved the idea of Valentines and all the accompanying pomp. The card from an admirer, the flowers, the chocolates and of course, the wild, unbridled passion, which, during the first three in the list, hangs there like some dastardly lingerie wearing carrot.

It has been sometime since my wife, Eleri, left me for the man who, it has to be said, is not a patch on her husband. But that is not my opinion, take the swath of letters (unpublished) the local paper have received from people who know me berating her decision. All anonymous, naturally, but all of a similar tone, that happiness would not be hers, that I was (in the writers' opinion) better off without her strumpet ways and frankly who could blame me for taking terrible and merciless revenge sometime in the distant future.

It is difficult when a relationship breaks down to such an extent that one party is left bereft of the feeling of trust and love, but one must move on. When one is wronged to such a massive extent by someone with the morals of an alley cat on heat, one must drop the pretence of hoping for revenge, for natural justice or a coerced version, and move on. One may regret the decision to put dogs' mess through their letterbox, burn all their pictures or sign them up to a variety of weird porn magazines (you can find the addresses of these easily from any suitable provider). But one must, at some point move on.

Sitting outside their house day after day as well is not recommended, even if you have a car it still looks suspicious. So don't let it blight you. Move on I say, and I am not just quoting the officer of the law there.

So, Valentines' Day, a day when my own personal circumstance is different from other peoples, in that I am alone, in my flat. Either side of my walls parties and Barry White can be heard, a cheeky feminine giggle, the odd lash. Romance is in the air. Except for me.

Not that you should feel sorry for me, oh no. I have my works of Shakespeare, my complete poets of the 18th century and my half woven dog basket to occupy my time. Plus there is a rising suspicion that something might be stuck in my u-bend, so my life is not completely lacking in adventure.

Harking back to my distant teenage years, when I was a mere slip of an actor, who couldn't emote to save his life, I remember my first dalliance with the fair sex.

An excerpt from my diary of the time

May 23
Met Kerry after school chess club and went to shady glade. What treasures lie under those garments to explore! Her soft lips meeting mine, and an exchange of what I can only call spittle. The intoxicating scent of her hair, the soft touch of her skin, the sparkle of cheek and anitcipation of forbidden pleasure in her eyes.

There followed several more assignations like this over the intervening years. Including one which is particularly imprinted on my mind.

Aug 6
Lost track of time in Poona during a run of Little 'Ampton. Awakening to find my troupe gone, I was alone and adorned only in silken towelling. Then entered the Goddess. The most beautiful woman – apart from Mama of course – that I had ever seen. The shimmering veils leaving so little to the imagination and causing much stirring in 'little tarquin', she made her way to the bed.

I do not wish to go further with this story, suffice to say a good time with several encores was had by all, as, later, was penicillin. I was going to complain but seeing as how I had not obtained a receipt I didn't have a leg to stand on, legally.

When I returned to the troupe house, they all seemed to know what has transpired between myself and the lovely Betsy, mostly from the (now gone) male bravado of boasting and telling but also from the 8mm film someone had thoughtfully made of the whole event.

From then on, on that tour, I was referred to in the local dialect as 'bendy one'.

So don't you worry about me on Valentines' Day. I have more than enough to keep me occupied.

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