It would appear Parker Knowles himself got an award. This would explain his expeditious cuts to my own speech – he wanted the lime light for himself. Well, Mr Knowles, this will not do! I have not spent the last few decades building to this moment, working away from the public, hiding behind characters and shunning the limelight of celebrity to have my moment in the Sun eclipsed by him.
I mean, I am not bitter; he may have made a good speech. In fact, I am pretty sure he has lifted many of my stories, anecdotes and other material for his own evil ends. All I am left with, after his savage cuts, is a brief thank you and a long section about parrots.
Parker Knowles will rue that evening; for now he has enraged the Wrath of the Mcphereson. An untold, untapped power of limitless resources which knows no bounds, no lines, no mercy. I have put his name down for a call from Scottish Power.
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