Agent

 

I have to advise those interested in booking me for engagements I have changed my representation. I used to be with Avril Peck Artistes, and Avril served me well for many years, since I left RADA actually. I well remember meeting her in the RADA bar. As I carried her out, she told me I was a marvellous performer and I should sign up with her agency should she ever form one. I wasted no time in calling her the very next month, and she seemed surprised to hear from me.

The sheer variety of work since then has been stunning

• 3^rd Dalek in Dr Who
• Man in Lorry in the Information film ‘Don’t lie under lorries!’
• Ferry Passenger waving in Triangle
• Dead Body in Survivors
• 15^th face in Godley and Cremes’ ‘Cry’ popular music video
• Lead in BBC TVs’ Doctors

Of course there were other roles she secured for me. I well remember the long nights of method acting to really get into the character of Strawberry jam. To know what it is to be jam. How jam feels and thinks and loves.

And the theatre work was fantastic too. Although the uniform was the wrong size.

But things change, people move on and Avril really hasn’t given me anything for a few months, except a text (which she says she doesn’t remember sending) at 2.43am which simply read ‘tosser’.

So all enquiries are now to be made through Elliot Trubstien Associates, a small but powerful company, headed by Elliot himself. Elliot has a fine pedigree of acting talent to draw from. Tim West, Robin Kessler, Googie Olsterham, Claire Sacheimer and myself, of course.

He says he was enticed into poaching me when he saw a film I made years ago, something which I thought all copies had been destroyed, in Covent Garden. A film where I played a young man whose dreams of success in the big city are cruelly and mercilessly crushed under the heel of the capitalist agenda. ‘My Big Part’ was, it has to be said, an metaphotical look into the world of class, of rich and poor, of have and have nots, of hope and despair told in a series of increasingly explicit sexual encounters with a variety of partners and a parrot.

Excuse me. Phone.